There are several things I changed from the initial post. For starters, what we learned about voice and tone and the overall profile that you want your business to have changed my stance on a few things. I wanted to use more language that was inspirational and helpful towards regular people, rather than sounding overly factual and professional. Our strength as a business is going to be having a good relationship with athletes and our clients, so using this type of language in an introductory post sets a better tone for who we are.

As I mentioned above, I also changed the post to directly address what the bulleted list is for rather than just throwing it on there. This helps readability and overall smoothness of the read. Having a better understanding of the F pattern and knowing how people read this just makes sense to have in there. As we saw with the heatmap, people tend to land on headings and subheadings rather than read what is directly under that, so having the subheading there increases the likelihood that they will see it and therefore understand what the list is in reference to. 

Additionally, I changed some of the design elements to better complement my brand. The link for the blog is the catalyst photography pink now; the opacity of the background for the text is dropped, which makes it pop more and is easier to read, and the headline spans across the width of the post rather than just the top left.

The most prevalent thing that I struggled with writing in plain English using the F pattern was dumbing down the language to the point that a normal person can read it. In my mind, I want to talk about the unique equipment we use or the specs of the cameras and use all sorts of photography terminology, but our audience isn’t photography experts; it’s normal people who don’t understand all of that and wouldn’t even know if it affects them in any way. Additionally, because we are farther along in the semester, I have a better grasp on my business idea and more ideas that I want to communicate with potential readers. But I need to condense that down and simplify it because I am not writing for me, I am writing for my target audience that will read this. I overcame this obstacle by having my mom and sister read a few different versions of my content as I was writing it, and pointing out to me parts that they did not understand or thought were irrelevant, which led me to what I have now and will be submitting. I had to cut all of the technical speak and terminology because, after all, this is an introductory post, and you need to assume that the vast majority of readers won’t find that at all useful or relevant to their purposes.

One technique I used in both my revised version and my initial version was laying out the sports we cover with bullets rather than using a paragraph format. The reason I did this is so that when skimming using the F pattern, a person is more likely to quickly comprehend a bulleted list and find what they need quickly, rather than reading an entire paragraph of fluff and losing interest in our content. An additional element I added was a quick subhead above the list to declare what the list actually is. This helps readability because in the first revision of my introductory post, I feel as though the list is just sort of thrown in there, and you have to actually read the content above to understand what the list is in reference to. In this version, it simply explains what we have done and can do. This helps because if you are just skimming, you can still understand the content on a higher level. I also use this list to reinforce the content above, which the subheading helps with. Now, rather than just a list being there on the page, it flows much nicer when reading it because the list directly correlates to the subheading, which directly correlates to the paragraph above, making it a smoother transition and less choppy.

The three main objectives of writing in plain English are as follows. 

• The reader can find what they need. This refers to whether or not your information is communicated well to the reader for their ease. They do not want to search and analyze your writing to find what they are looking for. There are a number of elements that can help a reader find what they are looking for easily, but at the core, it is about understanding how someone reads content and understanding the F Pattern. If you understand the F pattern, then you know how to lay out your information so that it is easy for a reader to find. My post is an introductory post about Catalyst Photography. As such, I want to say right off the bat who we are and what we do because people start at the top right and skim left to right, and that tapers with every line, so you need to have the most prevalent information right at the top left. In my post, it says Catalyst Photography is a sports photography firm local to Windsor-Essex, Ontario. Right off the bat, they know who we are, where we are, and what they do. Which is the most relevant part of this post, as it is supposed to be introductory. Furthermore, if they are interested in us, I use a bulleted list with a short description at the top of the list saying what it is. Using a list rather than a paragraph format gives the reader an easier way to skim and find what they are looking for. 

• The reader can understand the content. We discussed in class that writing in plain English isn’t using slang,  gibberish, or dumb speak. The reader needs to grasp the concept of what it is that you are trying to say. There is a fine line that you need to walk between sounding professional and intelligent and sounding unintelligent and lazy. Writing in plain English is about conveying complex ideas with simplicity so that any reader with any level of knowledge can understand them. In reference to photography specifically, there is a lot of technical knowledge about specs of cameras, resolution, and terminology that you need to condense down into something that a normal person can comprehend. So rather than us saying we shoot with a 200 mm zoom lens with a 4k resolution, in my post, I say “we focus on delivering you the highest quality images.” This conveys our complex point into something that a consumer can comprehend and appreciate. 

• The reader can use your content to fulfill their purpose. The content on my introductory post is supposed to provide the reader with a service that they need. In this case, you want or need a high-quality image or video of a sport or an athletic outlet. My content tells you what it is that we provide our customers with. Meaning that if they are interested, they can visit our blog, which will be linked, and learn more about us and see examples of our work.

Introductory Post Copy

Welcome to Catalyst Photography!

Catalyst Photography is a sports photography firm local to Windsor-Essex, Ontario. We specialize in capturing our clients’ best sporting moments. We focus on delivering the highest quality images from the local sports scene so that you can relive the moment long after it has passed.

We cover a wide range of sports, including but not limited to:

• Volleyball
• Soccer
• Hockey
• Football
• Baseball
• Basketball
• Figure Skating
• Track and Field

Check Out our Blog

http://blog.catalystphotos.com/

Plain English writing for the web differs slightly from other avenues, but at the root, it is still the same. On the web, you are fighting every other website for page views and readers. If a reader does not like your content or they can’t understand it, there are thousands of other places they can find information, and they will simply leave and go look for another web page. This differs from other avenues because so much information online is right at their fingertips; they don’t have to do anything to get more information. This makes communicating with them in plain English vital to the success of your website. Keeping them on your website and reading your content is your first priority; without this, you cannot convert them into a customer and move them through the sales funnel at all. It is extremely important to the customer journey that they can understand your content so that you can guide them to a conversion, whether that be a subscription or a purchase of whatever it may be. If you can’t communicate, you can’t convert.

Plain English writing is used to communicate in a business-to-consumer context. You have to take into consideration that not everyone understands the terminology and language that you would use because you are an expert writing about something in which you have a vast knowledge.  The reader may or may not be educated or knowledgeable in what you are writing about, so you have to write intentionally for them to understand you. This differs from writing in other avenues and in other contexts vastly. If you were to write a proposal for a marketing campaign that you would hand to your boss, you would be able to use all sorts of industry terminology because you can assume that they know what you are talking about, and they are educated in marketing. But if now you need to take that proposal to the company you are working for, the people there need to understand what it is that you are going to do, you need to write in plain English for them to grasp your writing. In marketing, our job is to effectively communicate with consumers, which makes plain English writing vital to success in this industry.

Based on what we learned in class, Plain English writing is communication with your audience in a way that is easy for them to understand, no matter their level of knowledge about a particular topic. When writing in plain English, you are supposed to communicate with your audience clearly and concisely so that they can easily understand your message. Audiences do not want to decipher what it is you are trying to tell them. The consumer doesn’t want to put effort into understanding your message. If it’s too hard to understand your writing, they will go to another webpage that is easier to understand, and you will lose them. Plain English writing helps keep visitors on your page and readers reading your content. However, when writing in plain English, you need to be careful not to belittle or patronize consumers by oversimplifying it, making them feel dumb. In conclusion, Plain English writing is the art of communication with consumers in a way that is clear, concise, and easy to understand so that they will read your content rather than bounce to another place online.